Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
