I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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