Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
