Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
