Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
operation have a gay friend backfired
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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