He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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