just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
