go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My vagina is officially offended.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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