oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
