Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
