the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
