Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
