So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
