Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
