There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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