So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
