have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
