Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
