I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
