My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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