I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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