how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
