This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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