Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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