i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
