just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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