He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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