Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
