he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
