Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
