Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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