well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize