I cockslap morals
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
