Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
