it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
