and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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