One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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