Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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