Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize