so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
