i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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