Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.