Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats