I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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