Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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