I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
