I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
