Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
