...so i touched it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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