i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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