i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
