It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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