Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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