When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize