omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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