He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We got so high we made milksteak
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
